Movie Review: Crank High Voltage

crank_two_ver2If you have seen the first installment of Crank, then you have seen this movie. Just throw in a Godzilla-esk battle between two men in a power plant with claymation viewers. All I could think when I saw this was “yeah, that is happening, I rubbed my eyes and it was still there.” The basic story is Chev Chelios(Jason Statham) survived the fall from the helicopter and was abducted by the Triad to have his organs transplanted into their leader. His heart is removed and replaced with a mechanical one to keep him alive long enough to extract his other organs including his penis; when Chev sees this he jumps up and our adrenaline rush begins.

I really liked the first Crank and held off on seeing it because I guess I’m just a stuck up movie snob but, with a lot of poking and prodding from friends, I finally watched it. The things I loved about Crank, the first installment, were absent from Crank 2 well I take that back they were there. In fact the same scenes were there right down to the guest appearance of Chester from Linkin Park. This movie seemed to be what most sequels are, “cranked” out just to make the money from the hype of the first film. Though it has the returning stars Jason Statham (Chev Chelios) and Amy Smart(Eve), the writers don’t seem to know that they are making a sequel; so its not that kind of crappy sequel like the new Donnie Darko will be.  So, I imagine the Crank 2 ‘think tank’ went a little something like this: “We should make Chev have a mechanical heart that he has to get re-charcrank_high_voltage-56-largeged all the time in strange ways. Yeah, that sounds good, like we could have him hook up to a cars jumper cables. (pause for bong hit). You know what sucks though, we killed off Efren Ramirez, you know Pedro. Yeah, Oh wait, we can bring him back as his twin brother out for revenge and make him a real bad-ass this time.” (Pause for bong hit) and we get a weird Godzilla scene.

With all that in mind, I did enjoy some parts of this movie just for the mere train wreck effect of it all. It really has that “Army of Darkness” skeleton on a horse effect to it, you know the whole ‘this is so poorly done its funny’ thing. The only problem here is that Bruce Campbell is not in this movie and when I want to see the exact same movie twice I’ll watch Evil Dead 1 & 2. I must say I did laugh in parts and some of the stunts were good, however, not on par with the first. Crank 2 is just not worth any amount of money to see. So with any movie so bad its good, only watch it when you friend says “Hey, I have the worst movie ever made, want to watch it?” Say yes, get inebriated and baste in the glory of Crank 2 High Voltage. On second thought, if your friend offers up this movie, get a new friend, one that owns a copy of “Army of Darkness.”  Man, I love those skeletons on horses.

I give Crank 2: 1 shotgun in a weird place out of 5

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by Ryan Davis

About Ryan Davis

Ryan is the Founder of Lost in Reviews, a member of The Kansas City Film Critic's Circle, and a key component in the movement to digitally restore the 1986 classic film The Gate. Ryan is also the co-host of Blu Monday a DVD and Blu Ray review show which Lost in Reviews co-founder Angela Davis also appears. While he may be a film and music snob, that doesn't mean you can't be friends. Well it could if you don't like the same bands or films he does, overall it might be best to avoid the subject all together.

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